Verbal and nonverbal cues that convey interest in dating what is a mentor

Flirting, courtship, dating and mating - sexual body language Body Language is also referred to as 'non-verbal communications', and less of meaning conveyed, or in making any firm claims in relation to body language and . through their interest in human personality and behaviour, and the Romans, notably Cicero. This article highlights the importance of effective communication skills for nurses. Date of submission: July 18 ; date of acceptance: September 1 Aim and the exchange of verbal and non-verbal messages . supervision and mentorship throughout a nursing .. communicate effectively with interest, listen. It is about words used as images, to convey messages in symbolic fashion. To date, non-verbal communication has never been perceived as a training matter As a mentor we must be mindful of these forms of communication and that they It is of some interest to note that the first things that both the patient and the PA.

When we meet someone for the first time, their body language, on conscious and unconscious levels, largely determines our initial impression of them. In turn when someone meets us for the first time, they form their initial impression of us largely from our body language and non-verbal signals. And this two-way effect of body language continues throughout communications and relationships between people. Body language is constantly being exchanged and interpreted between people, even though much of the time this is happening on an unconscious level.

Remember - while you are interpreting consciously or unconsciously the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting yours. The people with the most conscious awareness of, and capabilities to read, body language tend to have an advantage over those whose appreciation is limited largely to the unconscious. You will shift your own awareness of body language from the unconscious into the conscious by learning about the subject, and then by practising your reading of non-verbal communications in your dealings with others.

More than body positions and movements Body language is not just about how we hold and move our bodies. Body language potentially although not always, depending on the definition you choose to apply encompasses: Arguably this last point should be encompassed by body language, because a lot happens here which can easily be missed if we consider merely the spoken word and the traditional narrow definition of body language or non-verbal communications. Voice type and other audible signals are typically not included in body language because they are audible 'verbal' signals rather than physical visual ones, nevertheless the way the voice is used is a very significant usually unconscious aspect of communication, aside from the bare words themselves.

Consequently, voice type is always important to consider alongside the usual body language factors. Similarly, breathing and heartbeat, etc. Our reactions to other people's eyes - movement, focus, expression, etc - and their reactions to our eyes - contribute greatly to mutual assessment and understanding, consciously and unconsciously. With no words at all, massive feeling can be conveyed in a single glance. The metaphor which describes the eyes of two lovers meeting across a crowded room is not only found in old romantic movies.

It's based on scientific fact - the strong powers of non-verbal communications. These effects - and similar powerful examples - have existed in real human experience and behaviour for thousands of years.

The human body and our instinctive reactions have evolved to an amazingly clever degree, which many of us ignore or take for granted, and which we can all learn how to recognize more clearly if we try. Our interpretation of body language, notably eyes and facial expressions, is instinctive, and with a little thought and knowledge we can significantly increase our conscious awareness of these signals: Doing so gives us a significant advantage in life - professionally and personally - in our dealings with others.

Body language is not just reading the signals in other people. Importantly, understanding body language enables better self-awareness and self-control too. We understand more about other people's feelings and meanings, and we also understand more about these things in ourselves. When we understand body language we become better able to refine and improve what our body says about us, which generates a positive improvement in the way we feel, the way we perform, and what we achieve.

Definitions As explained, the terms body language and non-verbal communications are rather vague. So what is body language? And more usefully, what might we regard it to be, if we are to make the most of studying and using it?

The Oxford English Dictionary revised definition is: Appropriately and interestingly the Oxford Business English Dictionary emphasizes the sense that body language can be used as a tool, rather than it being an involuntary effect with no particular purpose: The course trains sales people in reading the customer's body language.

Body language certainly also encompasses where the body is in relation to other bodies often referred to as 'personal space'. Body language certainly also includes very small bodily movements such as facial expressions and eye movements. Body language also arguably covers all that we communicate through our bodies apart from the spoken words thereby encompassing breathing, perspiration, pulse, blood-pressure, blushing, etc.

In this respect, standard dictionary definitions don't always describe body language fully and properly. We could define body language more fully as: Body posture, movement, physical state, position and relationship to other bodies, objects and surroundings, Facial expression and eye movement, and this transmission and interpretation can be quite different to the spoken words.

We find clues to additional or true meaning in body language. Being able to 'read' body language therefore helps us greatly: Background and history Philosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour with meaning, mood and personality for thousands of years, but only in living memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as it is today.

Body language studies and written works on the subject are very sparse until the mids. The first known experts to consider aspects of body language were probably the ancient Greeks, notably Hippocrates and Aristotle, through their interest in human personality and behaviour, and the Romans, notably Cicero, relating gestures to feelings and communications.

Much of this early interest was in refining ideas about oration - speech-making - given its significance to leadership and government.

Isolated studies of body language appeared in more recent times, for example Francis Bacon in Advancement of Learning,explored gestures as reflection or extension of spoken communications. John Bulwer's Natural History of the Hand published inconsidered hand gestures. Gilbert Austin's Chironomia in looked at using gestures to improve speech-making. Charles Darwin in the late s could be regarded as the earliest expert to have made serious scientific observation about body language, but there seems little substantial development of ideas for at least the next years.

Darwin's work pioneered much ethological thinking. Ethology began as the science of animal behaviour. It became properly established during the early s and increasingly extends to human behaviour and social organization. Where ethology considers animal evolution and communications, it relates strongly to human body language. Ethologists have progressively applied their findings to human behaviour, including body language, reflecting the evolutionary origins of much human non-verbal communication - and society's growing acceptance of evolutionary rather than creationist theory.

Austrian zoologist and Nobel Prizewinner Konrad Lorenz was a founding figure in ethology. Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, discussed below, is an ethologist, as is the evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins b. Ethology, like psychology, is an over-arching science which continues to clarify the understanding of body language.

The popular and accessible study of body language as we know it today is very recent. In his popular book 'Body Language', Julius Fast wrote: His book Body Language was among the first to bring the subject to a mainstream audience.

All except one of Julius Fast's cited works are from the s and s. The exception among Fast's contemporary influences was Charles Darwin, and specifically his book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, written inwhich is commonly regarded as the beginnings of the body language science, albeit not recognised as such then.

Sigmund Freud and others in the field of psychoanalysis - in the late s and early s - would have had good awareness of many aspects of body language, including personal space, but they did not focus on non-verbal communications concepts or develop body language theories in their own right. Freud and similar psychoanalysts and psychologists of that time were focused on behaviour and therapeutic analysis rather than the study of non-verbal communications per se.

A different view of human behaviour related to and overlapping body language, surfaced strongly in Desmond Morris's book The Naked Ape, and in follow-up books such as Intimate Behaviour, Morris, a British zoologist and ethologist, linked human behaviour - much of it concerned with communications - to human 'animalistic' evolution.

His work remains a popular and controversial perspective for understanding people's behaviours, and while his theories did not focus strongly on body language, Morris's popularity in the late s and s contributed significantly to the increasing interest among people beyond the scientific community - for a better understanding of how and why we feel and act and communicate.

An important aspect of body language is facial expression, which is arguably one part of body language for which quite early 'scientific' thinking can be traced: The ancient roots of this concept demonstrate that while body language itself is a recently defined system of analysis, the notion of inferring human nature or character from facial expression is extremely old.

Types of Nonverbal Communication

While eye behaviors are often studied under the category of kinesics, they have their own branch of nonverbal studies called oculesics The study of eye behaviors as nonverbal communication.

Eye contact serves several communicative functions ranging from regulating interaction to monitoring interaction, to conveying information, to establishing interpersonal connections. In terms of regulating communication, we use eye contact to signal to others that we are ready to speak or we use it to cue others to speak. During an interaction, eye contact also changes as we shift from speaker to listener.

US Americans typically shift eye contact while speaking—looking away from the listener and then looking back at his or her face every few seconds. Toward the end of our speaking turn, we make more direct eye contact with our listener to indicate that we are finishing up.

While listening, we tend to make more sustained eye contact, not glancing away as regularly as we do while speaking. Martin and Thomas K. Nakayama, Intercultural Communication in Contexts, 5th ed. McGraw-Hill, Aside from regulating conversations, eye contact is also used to monitor interaction by taking in feedback and other nonverbal cues and to send information. A speaker can use his or her eye contact to determine if an audience is engaged, confused, or bored and then adapt his or her message accordingly.

Our eyes also send information to others. People know not to interrupt when we are in deep thought because we naturally look away from others when we are processing information. Making eye contact with others also communicates that we are paying attention and are interested in what another person is saying.

As we will learn in Chapter 5 "Listening"eye contact is a key part of active listening. Eye contact can also be used to intimidate others.

We have social norms about how much eye contact we make with people, and those norms vary depending on the setting and the person. Staring at another person in some contexts could communicate intimidation, while in other contexts it could communicate flirtation. As we learned, eye contact is a key immediacy behavior, and it signals to others that we are available for communication. Once communication begins, if it does, eye contact helps establish rapport or connection. We can also use our eye contact to signal that we do not want to make a connection with others.

For example, in a public setting like an airport or a gym where people often make small talk, we can avoid making eye contact with others to indicate that we do not want to engage in small talk with strangers. Another person could use eye contact to try to coax you into speaking, though. This list reviews the specific functions of eye contact: Pupil dilation refers to the expansion and contraction of the black part of the center of our eyes and is considered a biometric form of measurement; it is involuntary and therefore seen as a valid and reliable form of data collection as opposed to self-reports on surveys or interviews that can be biased or misleading.

Our pupils dilate when there is a lack of lighting and contract when light is plentiful. Researchers measure pupil dilation for a number of reasons. For example, advertisers use pupil dilation as an indicator of consumer preferences, assuming that more dilation indicates arousal and attraction to a product. Even though we may not be aware of this subtle nonverbal signal, we have social norms and practices that may be subconsciously based on pupil dilation.

Softer and more indirect light leads to pupil dilation, and although we intentionally manipulate lighting to create a romantic ambiance, not to dilate our pupils, the dilated pupils are still subconsciously perceived, which increases perceptions of attraction.

Mayfield,40— Facial Expressions Our faces are the most expressive part of our bodies. Even though a photo is a snapshot in time, we can still interpret much meaning from a human face caught in a moment of expression, and basic facial expressions are recognizable by humans all over the world. Much research has supported the universality of a core group of facial expressions: The first four are especially identifiable across cultures.

However, the triggers for these expressions and the cultural and social norms that influence their displays are still culturally diverse.

As we get older, we learn and begin to follow display rules for facial expressions and other signals of emotion and also learn to better control our emotional expression based on the norms of our culture.

Although facial expressions are typically viewed as innate and several are universally recognizable, they are not always connected to an emotional or internal biological stimulus; they can actually serve a more social purpose. For example, most of the smiles we produce are primarily made for others and are not just an involuntary reflection of an internal emotional state. These social smiles, however, are slightly but perceptibly different from more genuine smiles. The Science of Sentiment New York: Oxford University Press, People are able to distinguish the difference between these smiles, which is why photographers often engage in cheesy joking with adults or use props with children to induce a genuine smile before they snap a picture.

Our faces are the most expressive part of our body and can communicate an array of different emotions. Facial expressions help set the emotional tone for a speech.

In order to set a positive tone before you start speaking, briefly look at the audience and smile to communicate friendliness, openness, and confidence. Facial expressions can communicate that a speaker is tired, excited, angry, confused, frustrated, sad, confident, smug, shy, or bored. So make sure your facial expressions are communicating an emotion, mood, or personality trait that you think your audience will view favorably, and that will help you achieve your speech goals.

Also make sure your facial expressions match the content of your speech. When delivering something light-hearted or humorous, a smile, bright eyes, and slightly raised eyebrows will nonverbally enhance your verbal message. When delivering something serious or somber, a furrowed brow, a tighter mouth, and even a slight head nod can enhance that message. If your facial expressions and speech content are not consistent, your audience could become confused by the mixed messages, which could lead them to question your honesty and credibility.

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Haptics Think of how touch has the power to comfort someone in moment of sorrow when words alone cannot. This positive power of touch is countered by the potential for touch to be threatening because of its connection to sex and violence.

To learn about the power of touch, we turn to haptics The study of communication by touch. We probably get more explicit advice and instruction on how to use touch than any other form of nonverbal communication. A lack of competence could have more dire negative consequences, including legal punishment, if we touch someone inappropriately intentionally or unintentionally. Touch is necessary for human social development, and it can be welcoming, threatening, or persuasive.

Research projects have found that students evaluated a library and its staff more favorably if the librarian briefly touched the patron while returning his or her library card, that female restaurant servers received larger tips when they touched patrons, and that people were more likely to sign a petition when the petitioner touched them during their interaction.

There are several types of touch, including functional-professional, social-polite, friendship-warmth, love-intimacy, and sexual-arousal touch. Weimann and Randall Harrison Longon: Sage,47— At the functional-professional level, touch is related to a goal or part of a routine professional interaction, which makes it less threatening and more expected. For example, we let barbers, hairstylists, doctors, nurses, tattoo artists, and security screeners touch us in ways that would otherwise be seen as intimate or inappropriate if not in a professional context.

At the social-polite level, socially sanctioned touching behaviors help initiate interactions and show that others are included and respected. A handshake, a pat on the arm, and a pat on the shoulder are examples of social-polite touching.

A handshake is actually an abbreviated hand-holding gesture, but we know that prolonged hand-holding would be considered too intimate and therefore inappropriate at the functional-professional or social-polite level. At the functional-professional and social-polite levels, touch still has interpersonal implications. The touch, although professional and not intimate, between hair stylist and client, or between nurse and patient, has the potential to be therapeutic and comforting.

In addition, a social-polite touch exchange plays into initial impression formation, which can have important implications for how an interaction and a relationship unfold. Of course, touch is also important at more intimate levels. At the friendship-warmth level, touch is more important and more ambiguous than at the social-polite level.

At this level, touch interactions are important because they serve a relational maintenance purpose and communicate closeness, liking, care, and concern. In a friendship, for example, too much touch can signal sexual or romantic interest, and too little touch can signal distance or unfriendliness. At the love-intimacy level, touch is more personal and is typically only exchanged between significant others, such as best friends, close family members, and romantic partners.

Touching faces, holding hands, and full frontal embraces are examples of touch at this level. Although this level of touch is not sexual, it does enhance feelings of closeness and intimacy and can lead to sexual-arousal touch, which is the most intimate form of touch, as it is intended to physically stimulate another person. Touch is also used in many other contexts—for example, during play e.

Classic and Contemporary Readings, 2nd ed. Devito, and Michael L. Hecht Prospect Heights, IL: We also inadvertently send messages through accidental touch e. What sort of touching behaviors would indicate a good or bad first date? For example, a pat on the back is an abbreviated hug. Mayfield,4. Touching behavior as a way to express feelings is often reciprocal.

A light touch from one dater will be followed by a light touch from the other to indicate that the first touch was OK. While verbal communication could also be used to indicate romantic interest, many people feel too vulnerable at this early stage in a relationship to put something out there in words. I find hugging behavior particularly interesting, perhaps because of my experiences growing up in a very hug-friendly environment in the Southern United States and then living elsewhere where there are different norms.

A hug can be obligatory, meaning that you do it because you feel like you have to, not because you want to. A limp, weak, or retreating hug may communicate anger, ambivalence, or annoyance. Think of other types of hugs and how you hug different people.

Some types of hugs are the crisscross hug, the neck-waist hug, and the engulfing hug. Kory Floyd, Communicating Affection: Interpersonal Behavior and Social Context Cambridge: Cambridge University Press,33— This hug is common among friends, romantic partners, and family members, and perhaps even coworkers. This hugging behavior usually occurs when someone is very excited and hugs the other person without warning. The hug comes after the shake has been initiated with one arm going around the other person for usually just one tap, then a step back and release of the handshake.

When the slap is more of a tap, it is actually an indication that one person wants to let go. The video footage of then-president Bill Clinton hugging Monica Lewinsky that emerged as allegations that they had an affair were being investigated shows her holding on, while he was tapping from the beginning of the hug. The Law, Privacy, and Touch Everyone who has flown over the past ten years has experienced the steady increase in security screenings.

Since the terrorist attacks on September 11,airports around the world have had increased security. While passengers have long been subject to pat-downs if they set off the metal detector or arouse suspicion, recently foiled terrorist plots have made passenger screening more personal. Apress,— Interestingly, police have long been able to use more invasive pat-downs, but only with probable cause.

In the case of random selection at the airport, no probable cause provision has to be met, giving TSA agents more leeway with touch than police officers. Experts in aviation security differ in their assessment of the value of the pat-downs and other security procedures. Several experts have called for a revision of the random selection process in favor of more targeted screenings. What civil rights organizations critique as racial profiling, consumer rights activists and some security experts say allows more efficient use of resources and less inconvenience for the majority of passengers.

Apress, Although the TSA has made some changes to security screening procedures and have announced more to come, some passengers have started a backlash of their own. Footage of pat-downs of toddlers and grandmothers in wheelchairs and self-uploaded videos of people recounting their pat-down experiences have gone viral on YouTube. What limits, if any, do you think there should be on the use of touch in airport screening procedures?

You can read more about the story and see the video here: Do you think that her actions we justified? Why or why not? Do you think that more targeted screening, as opposed to random screenings in which each person has an equal chance of being selected for enhanced pat-downs, is a good idea? Do you think such targeted screening could be seen as a case of unethical racial profiling? Vocalics We learned earlier that paralanguage refers to the vocalized but nonverbal parts of a message.

Vocalics The study of paralanguage, which includes the vocal qualities that go along with verbal messages, such as pitch, volume, rate, vocal quality, and verbal fillers.

Mayfield,69— Pitch helps convey meaning, regulate conversational flow, and communicate the intensity of a message. Even babies recognize a sentence with a higher pitched ending as a question. We also learn that greetings have a rising emphasis and farewells have falling emphasis. Of course, no one ever tells us these things explicitly; we learn them through observation and practice. Children, for example, have a difficult time perceiving sarcasm, which is usually conveyed through paralinguistic characteristics like pitch and tone rather than the actual words being spoken.

Paralanguage provides important context for the verbal content of speech. For example, volume helps communicate intensity. A louder voice is usually thought of as more intense, although a soft voice combined with a certain tone and facial expression can be just as intense. We typically adjust our volume based on our setting, the distance between people, and the relationship. Speaking rate refers to how fast or slow a person speaks and can lead others to form impressions about our emotional state, credibility, and intelligence.

As with volume, variations in speaking rate can interfere with the ability of others to receive and understand verbal messages. A slow speaker could bore others and lead their attention to wander. A fast speaker may be difficult to follow, and the fast delivery can actually distract from the message.

Speaking a little faster than the normal — words a minute, however, can be beneficial, as people tend to find speakers whose rate is above average more credible and intelligent.

Buller and Judee K. When speaking at a faster-than-normal rate, it is important that a speaker also clearly articulate and pronounce his or her words. Boomhauer, a character on the show King of the Hill, is an example of a speaker whose fast rate of speech combines with a lack of articulation and pronunciation to create a stream of words that only he can understand.

A higher rate of speech combined with a pleasant tone of voice can also be beneficial for compliance gaining and can aid in persuasion.

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Our tone of voice can be controlled somewhat with pitch, volume, and emphasis, but each voice has a distinct quality known as a vocal signature. Voices vary in terms of resonance, pitch, and tone, and some voices are more pleasing than others. People typically find pleasing voices that employ vocal variety and are not monotone, are lower pitched particularly for malesand do not exhibit particular regional accents.

Many people perceive nasal voices negatively and assign negative personality characteristics to them. Think about people who have very distinct voices. Verbal fillers are sounds that fill gaps in our speech as we think about what to say next. They are considered a part of nonverbal communication because they are not like typical words that stand in for a specific meaning or meanings. The following is a review of the various communicative functions of vocalics: Vocalic cues reinforce other verbal and nonverbal cues e.

Vocalic cues elaborate on or modify verbal and nonverbal meaning e. Vocalic cues allow us to emphasize particular parts of a message, which helps determine meaning e. Vocalic cues can take the place of other verbal or nonverbal cues e. Vocalic cues help regulate the flow of conversations e. Vocalic cues may contradict other verbal or nonverbal signals e. Proxemics Proxemics The study of how space and distance influence communication. We only need look at the ways in which space shows up in common metaphors to see that space, communication, and relationships are closely related.

Smaller spaces with a higher density of people often lead to breaches of our personal space bubbles. If this is a setting in which this type of density is expected beforehand, like at a crowded concert or on a train during rush hour, then we make various communicative adjustments to manage the space issue.

To better understand how proxemics functions in nonverbal communication, we will more closely examine the proxemic distances associated with personal space and the concept of territoriality. Although our bubbles are invisible, people are socialized into the norms of personal space within their cultural group. Scholars have identified four zones for US Americans, which are public, social, personal, and intimate distance.

You can see how these zones relate to each other and to the individual in Figure 4. Even within a particular zone, interactions may differ depending on whether someone is in the outer or inner part of the zone. Public space starts about twelve feet from a person and extends out from there. This is the least personal of the four zones and would typically be used when a person is engaging in a formal speech and is removed from the audience to allow the audience to see or when a high-profile or powerful person like a celebrity or executive maintains such a distance as a sign of power or for safety and security reasons.

In terms of regular interaction, we are often not obligated or expected to acknowledge or interact with people who enter our public zone. Social Space 4—12 Feet Communication that occurs in the social zone, which is four to twelve feet away from our body, is typically in the context of a professional or casual interaction, but not intimate or public.

This distance is preferred in many professional settings because it reduces the suspicion of any impropriety. It is also possible to have people in the outer portion of our social zone but not feel obligated to interact with them, but when people come much closer than six feet to us then we often feel obligated to at least acknowledge their presence. In many typically sized classrooms, much of your audience for a speech will actually be in your social zone rather than your public zone, which is actually beneficial because it helps you establish a better connection with them.

Students in large lecture classes should consider sitting within the social zone of the professor, since students who sit within this zone are more likely to be remembered by the professor, be acknowledged in class, and retain more information because they are close enough to take in important nonverbal and visual cues.

Students who talk to me after class typically stand about four to five feet away when they speak to me, which keeps them in the outer part of the social zone, typical for professional interactions.